SUICIDE

 This subject is a very raw one for me as very recently one of my best friends son took his own life and although he thought of pretty much everything before he left this world it still doesnt stop the pain and suffering of the loved ones that are left behind.

The shock, the anxiety, the what could I have done to prevent this from happening questions.

I feel angry that we have 7 suicides a day and yet there is absolutely no press about it "because they are worried about copy cat actions", really seriously who is going to copy cat a suicide when you dont know how they did this.  It's absolutely ridiculous that we are not kept informed of just how many are happening as it just might create a phone call to someone or get some help for someone that is close to the edge.

I realise that there are some people that hide it extremely well and would not let you know what they are planning and you cannot prevent what you dont know but for christ sake if we the public were just more informed about what's happening we just maybe able to help that one person.

It hurts very deeply to have someone very close to you lose their child - the most shattering experience I would imagine a parent would have to go through but how do you get past it.

1. You are so busy organising the funeral it's like a whirl wind and you dont even have time to shed your tears or sit down and take a breather and let it out there is just so much to do

2. Funeral comes there are tears from everyone and then everyone wants to know the ins and outs of a ducks arse - thats just the way people are and you are just so numb you can hardly even speak

3. The wake is even harder as people reminisce the good times and that's healthy everyone should be able to do that but you are feeling like you want to escape and curl up in a ball. (the experience for a senior is not quite the same it's more a celebration of their life)

4. The days following and probably for about 2+ weeks you get phone calls, texts and emails that you are fielding from people that did attend wanting to know how you are (I am feeling like shit really) or people that have just found out and are wanting to talk to you.

5. Then comes the day when all that stops and people go back to their normal life, their jobs, the texts stop, the phone calls are few and far between and you are now feeling like there is a black cloud over you.  This is the time you need help !!  This is the time to grab your best friend and cry and shout and say how it's not fair, why your family and it goes on.  I would even say its good to get professional help at this time just to help you get over that big hump you have come to.

6. Whatever week or day it is you have to then come to the realisation that a new day is coming every day at you and you have to get prepared for it.  Depending on your age because if you are in your 60's then you need to get moving and stop wasting YOUR life and dont be paralised by someone elses actions, sure grieve but grieve and get on with it as you dont have a shit load left of your own life to waste and no one should be able to take that power away from you, especially if you have other children  that need your support.  Yes its bloody hard, yes you still hurt, yes you get down but the mere fact your life is going forward and not backwards and the reality is the sun is coming up every day regardless of how you are feeling so do whatever you need to do to get yourself back on track - the track of living your life.

I know it sounds very harsh but life is so very precious and you actually dont know when your own number is up so you need to heal, grieve and move on as this was not your choice, those cards were just dealt to you, its how you move on from there is the main thing.  Ask for help.

Grieving takes all sorts of twists and turns and there are triggers that will set you off but you just need to recognise them and deal with it, open up to someone tell them how you are feeling, make sure you tell your work mates that you are not having a good day, people do understand as some people just never move on and are stuck in that big black hole unable to get it out, they are on anti deppresents to help them get up every morning !!

The mistake I made early in my life is I internally grieved for two years telling everyone I was okay and in actual life I was not okay.  It's okay not to be okay just by the way.  Death to me for a young person is shocking and it shakes you to your core but you must move forward otherwise what does your future look like?  Pent up anger will eventually burst out and then there will be some more actions you will need to deal with.  Thank goodness footballers and sports people are coming out with their own mental health stories as I really feel this has broken alot of ice for people to speak out.

This year is the year that I decided that I need to go to funerals out of respect to the family left behind, even though my anxiety is extremely high I push through it as funerals are now going to keep coming at me and its a hump I just need to get over.  I do recover a lot quicker now and I just need a day or two to go through my own sadness then I push myself to recover because you know what I love my life and where I live, my friends, family and I am not going to be paralised ever again (not for too long anyway) - yes I might be teary for a while but that's okay people get it and I am not going to hide it anymore (better out than in as they say) suffering in silence is just not the answer.

I have reallly good friends are they are a huge support, they rally around and check in on you and you know what you cant put a value on that.

If you are reading this and you are resonating with it and you feel like you want to move on but you are paralysed please please get some professional help, open up to someone as the sooner you heal enough to move on the sooner you can enjoy the rest of your life.

Suicide is a dangerous thought and many of us have been touched by it one way or another so be careful of each other and make sure you phone that friend that could be on the edge it could be your phone call that stops them.

Take care out there.

MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS AND GIVE IT A REAL GO!!

SELLING MOSMAN PARK & THE WESTERN SUBURBS!!

KEEPING IT REAL IS OUR MOTTO!!